After experiencing some time down with illness the past few weeks and knowing we were entering the month to explore the practice of trust, I found myself frequently asking: “what does trust in a situation like this even mean”? Did I “trust” that I would get well? Yes, and yet …  And yet, as I lay in bed wondering if the pneumonia would clear or send me to the ER I also spent time remembering several friends who had suffered illnesses, trusted they would get well and then, not get well. What good was their “trust”? Is trust just another form of hope or wishful thinking?

This line of questioning spiraled me to think of all the times when I trusted something would go a certain way, and yet, it didn’t. Or trusted someone to do certain things and yet they didn’t. I thought of the times when I felt like I had providence on my side and got a big surprise in the opposite direction. Truthfully trust can feel like a real scary and wasted endeavor at times. So what’s the point? Life and people and things are going to do what they are going to do, whether we trust them or not.

OK, so this does not sound like a very inspiring post Rev. Deborah! But wait… because actually, that last part about how people and things are going to do what they are going to do, that is the inspiring part! Stay with me here.

As I laid in bed feeling totally crappy I kept hearing the voice of one of my spiritual teachers who, when someone would say, “don’t worry, it’s all going to be ok” would chime in with, “every IS ok.”

“Everything is ok.” “Everything is ok.” As I repeated this mantra I found myself getting strangely lighter and more at ease. “Everything is ok.” I don’t need to “trust” in some future outcome.

That doesn’t equate to, “everything is as I would like it to be” or that “everything will be what I want it to be at some future time.” But her simple reminder somehow spoke to a deep truth of where I COULD place my trust. Right here, right now because everything is exactly as it is. Everything is exactly as it is. I can trust that.

I don’t know about you, but for me the thought that “everything is always exactly as it is” feels  …… reassuring.  It feels like something I actually can trust with full honestly, not just hope.

The truth was I did not actually know when or if I would feel better. Chances were good that I would, and I did. But putting my trust in those chances caused me stress. When I relaxed into trusting the moment by moment experience and that life was exactly as it was, I actually started to feel better. Coincidence?

Enjoy your own musing and practice of trust this month,

Rev. Deborah